The holidays are over, the New Year has begun. For many, it is a time of change. For some that change is the ending of a marriage, which is by far one of the most difficult and painful things you do in your life. Yet, like ripping a bandage off, when it is done, you create room for new journeys, new loves—a new life.
Like with taking off a bandage, there are different ways to go about it. There is the slow, painful way. I am referring to contested divorce. As a lawyer, I can handle both contested divorce and mediation. If I am being honest, as with all lawyers, I make more in legal fees if you hire me for a contested divorce. However, unlike most lawyers, I am recommending mediation.
Why?
The main reason is that I truly believe after having mediated my own divorce that it is the least toxic to yourself and your family. Together, you will come up with a fair distribution of assets and family time without the opinion of a judge and without the fiery fuel of the lawyers.
Lawyers are trained to fight for their clients. There are times when a fight is needed. The decision to end a marriage should also signal the end of the fights, not the beginning of bigger ones. Yes, you may be angry and even feel entitled, but your very first obligation if you have children is to shield them from that anger, and to end this for them as quickly as possibly so that they can begin to “see” what tomorrow and life with divorced parents will look like. By engaging in a long, drawn-out battle, your children are placed in limbo, which is a very scary place to be.
Another reason to mediate is because in the end you are adults. As adults, you don’t want to put your future in the hands of a judge that knows nothing about you and the needs of your family.
The last reason is cost. I have seen divorce mediation save people thousands of dollars in legal fees.
Source: Cory J. Rosenbaum, P.C., a professional corporation for the practice of injury, employment and matrimonial law. For more information or to schedule a consultation, call 212-732-7922 (NYC office) or 516-670-9332 (Uniondale office), or visit CoryRosenbaum.com, PreDivorceLaw.com and NonToxicDivorce.com.
