“Your move, chief.” That’s what Robin Williams says to Matt Damon in a pivotal scene in the movie Good Will Hunting. If you recall, he was telling Damon that life can’t be found in a book; life has to be lived. Ironic, because if you suffer from mental illness, cancer, Parkinson’s, whatever … the very last thing you think you can do is “move.” This life is not easy; diseases of the mind and body find us, even after we have done everything in our power to keep them at bay.
Mental and physical illness is on the rise. Sometimes it feels that no matter what we do, we are facing it—in ourselves or in our loved ones. When it is a loved one, there is no pain that compares. I was a caregiver for a sick husband and a sick son, both of whom made amazing recoveries. I am blessed. Yet, during those times, making these huge decisions, speaking to doctors, watching my loved ones suffer, I felt many things; however, not once did I feel blessed. Caregiving for a person that is sick, elderly or frail is a tremendous strain both physically and mentally. This month, we pay tribute to the caregivers in our lives with “Conscious Caregiving,” an article with focus on caring for others while still nurturing yourself.
There are a few people I know that are caregivers for elderly parents, and while my sisters and I may laugh with my own 81-year-old parents—“we’ll put a POD in the driveway and put a bed in it when the time comes”—the truth is it is no laughing matter. This is how life ends for many: a day-and-night challenge of being cared for by someone else.
When I found myself in the roll of caregiver for my husband, I leaned on one thing: memories. Thoughts of our wedding, our trips, our walks on the beach, and memories of all the many times we laughed. If you know us, you know we LAUGH! Big, huge belly laughs! I think that is what I used to power me through those times—my memories of all the laughter we shared.
I come back to memories when I am struggling, because when they are good, they are like a smooth margarita’s tingle on the back of my tongue! It is a place I can go that offers a nirvana, even if just for a moment.
So, for all of us while we are young and healthy (yes, at 44 I am using the word “young” liberally), we should be seizing our day! Living life, testing the edges, trying things and failing or succeeding, and, like Williams in his good times, we should be laughing big, hardy laughs. The thing about laughter is it is free. Surround yourself with people that make you laugh (with them, not at them; that’s just cruel) ;). Smile and laugh as you manifest the life you want.
If life is a journey and not a destination, then my goal is to be laughing the whole car ride!
This month, take a trip, even if it is just to a local beach or park. We live on an island for goodness’ sake. Take a few hours if that is all you have, play in the ocean, run along the sea, enjoy the last of the summer sunsets. Simply said: Get out there this September and carpe diem, seize the day!
Thanks for the laughter Robin Williams……Nanoo Nanoo 😉
Malama Pono!
KellyMartinsen, Publisher
