It is never too late to try and resolve all or some of the issues in your divorce. If you can resolve issues and limit the ones that you need to litigate, you will save time, money and stress. If you have to litigate, only fight about what you cannot mediate.
Many people think that once they have started down the path of a contested divorce, where both sides have lawyers and are using the court system, they cannot use a mediator. That is simply false.
While mediation needs participation from both sides to resolve anything, you can choose to mediate what you want whenever you want.
Mediate Whenever You Want:
You can choose to mediate whenever you want. Whether you are at the beginning stages of your divorce or nearing a trial, you can always choose to switch gears and try and resolve issues.
If you choose to resolve all or some of your issues during mediation, you do not need to stop the litigation, you can simply choose to try and work out issues and either limit your continued disputes or resolve all and stop the lawyers’ meters from running. Also, if you are hesitant to try and mediate because you do not want to slow down your litigation, you do not have to stop or slow down anything in order to try and mediate.
Mediate Whatever Issues You Want:
Often, significant issues like custody and the house can be resolved easily.
Many couples identify for themselves, without needing lawyers or judges, which parent will be the custodial parent and that both will have a say in making decisions that affect the child or children. A mediator, at any point in time, can help you resolve the details regarding custody issues, visitation, etc.
How to handle the family home may be an issue that is great for mediation and removal from your litigation. For example, many couples agree that the children and the parent that will be living with the children should stay in the house. There may be issues about who pays for the house, what happens with the house once the kids are grown and other issues that can be addressed by a mediator.
There are many issues that a mediator can help you resolve. For example, even though you are divorcing, you might agree that life insurance should be maintained for the children’s benefit; health insurance pre-divorce should continue post-divorce; and wife’s personal property, like gifts from her family, should remain hers, while husband gets to keep his boat, motorcycle or surfboards.
Small businesses that were developed during the marriage that were operated by one of the spouses may also be a prime issue to mediate. Does the non-involved spouse think he or she should take over the business or is the issue really how to share the value or the money generated by the business?
Whether you are litigating your divorce or not, it could save you time, money and stress if you sit down with a mediator to work out specific issues and limit what you are fighting about in court.
Also, when you try and limit your battles, it may also foster a better environment for trying to work out larger more contested matters or, possibly, resolving your entire case.
Source: Cory J. Rosenbaum, P.C., a professional corporation for the practice of injury, employment and matrimonial law. For more information or to schedule a consultation, call 212-732-7922 (NYC office) or 516-670-9332 (Uniondale office), or visit CoryRosenbum.com, PreDivorceLaw.com and NonToxicDivorce.com.
