My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper:A Guide to the Less than Perfect Life is a funny exploration on life and relationships. With pinpoint accuracy the book has uncanny ability to hold a mirror up to the modern woman’s life. Prior to its release, I had the wonderful opportunity to speak with the author, ex-professional volleyball player, model, fitness and health expert, and wife of Laird Hamilton (Widely regarded as the best big-wave surfer of all time), Gabrielle Reece. By the time we finished speaking, I had ideas for my own life with regards to nutrition, exercise, motherhood, partnership and specifically self.
Interestingly enough, the book did not even come up until the last five minutes of our interview. We talked all Natural Awakenings health stuff, nutrition and wellness and when it came time to discuss mental wellness, that was when Reece mentioned her thoughts behind her new book. In her signature matter-of-fact tone, Reece explained her belief that women inherently feel guilty about everything and at the same time have a desire to "have it all". She agrees that you may have the all-time career at one point in your life, may feel like Super Mom at another time, and may have a period where you are the all-time wife and lover, but Reeece says, it is literally impossible to be everything to everybody at one time. Perhaps when women realize this there will be less guilt. "I have given up that idea of having it all,” she confided. “That conversation for me is torture. You can have a lot of all of it, but at some point in time, something will have to give. You need to realize it can’t be all important all the time; it needs to [constantly]shift."
For Reece, the idea of shifting the guilt that is found with the desire for perfection in each role and freeing herself from the desire to have it all starts with focusing a little bit on herself. So often as women, "self" is something we forget or place last. “Unless someone is sick or hurt, it has to be me first, because it has to start with me and me being happy,” Reece explained. “I have learned that even with my children, I will understand that and honor that even if it appears to be selfish." Reece ascertains that she can be a much more selfless and joyous parent and partner if she first takes care of her own needs. Who can disagree?
The thought of focusing on self, actually came to Reece as she became a mother. Reece admits she would find herself obsessing over her parenting skills much to the same degree that we all do—"Am I not there? Am I doing too much? Am I too tough on them? Am I not tough enough?” Worrying that perhaps she was taking too much time for herself, too little time with family and then the opposite worry: too much time living through her children and too little time on herself. She continued to ruminate on these questions and be baffled by them until her husband, Laird Hamilton, dropped in with a single comment: "You are there."
That statement offered her a sense of freedom and an ability to look outward. Reece firmly believes that all children "kind of are who they are. If we just do our jobs and love them and tell them we believe in them, and not stay out of their way, but kind of stay out of their way, I really believe they have their path." So while Reece is there for her children unequivocably with input, advice and love, she does not act as a micromanager of their lives and choices. This allows her to enjoy watching her children from the sidelines. When Reece sees her children doing something awesome, she reminds herself that she had very little to do with it.
In making time for herself, her needs and her own successes, Reece makes her workout routine a top priority. She has a beautiful, strong, athletic body that has graced the cover of hundreds of magazines. Preserving her body as a tool to carry her into the years is important. When asked if she works out with her husband, the answer was surprisingly humble. Reece is unabashed when she states that her husband is at a level of intensity that most others can only dream about. She admits that at times she may go and see him working out and just watch, "because Laird’s level is inspiring. Laird is super creative" about his training. His ability and work capacity is at a "whole different level."
Many of us, pine for the glory days or our high school or college sport success so I was interested to hear if Reece misses those days when she played professional volley ball. She does sound wistful as she recognizes that part of her life was truly amazing. Yet Reece is candid in her belief that perhaps the best way to honor that time in her life, is by letting it go. “There is something very sweet to me about that time of my life, and I feel like the best way to preserve that is to gracefully move into different spaces." Does she miss that communal team spirit? Yes, but five years ago, she began teaching her own dynamic fitness group. In that community, she is less of a team member and more the rigorous coach demanding the best from her team. The fitness class proves to be both motivational and fully functional from top to bottom. Other than the class, Reece has also added more stretching to her routine, because she asks herself, “Where are the weaknesses?" Can someone in such great shape have weakness? Reece admits she does. The sheer act of lengthening her muscles is tough for her. She has incorporated Yin yoga into her routine. “Yin yoga requires holding a pose for a longer period of time,” she explained. “I know that is what my body needs. I have a very powerful body, so I need to invite that slow stretch. Vitality is mobility, and mobility is vitality."
To see Reece, one’s immediate thought is that she is so fit she must have a torturously rigorous diet. Yet she gives the same well-thought-out, balanced approach to eating as she gives to the rest of her life. Reece has a sensible approach to nutrition by living a 90/10 philosophy. When at home and in control, she eats clean, and finds herself increasingly cooking vegan meals “that taste good." If she finds herself without time and ease to incorporate that lifestyle and unable to obtain the food that is purely fuel, she will allow herself the freedom to eat what is convenient. If that means a Chinese restaurant is the only option after a child’s late night soccer game, then she states, "I am OK with that." It is that flexibility that makes her life sustainable. “When I can’t get what I need and want, a healthy home-cooked meal, I am OK with that. If I can be successful 90 percent of the time, and 10 percent have the flexibility to do what has to be done, it is successful.”
Eating is a family affair, and Reece and Hamilton stress to their three daughters that food is fuel versus viewing food as fun. That said, she recognizes that if she wants something she will not deprive herself. Like most of us, Reece recognizes that once you make something taboo, or off limits, you only want it that much more. “I try to teach them [her daughters]the difference between food and fun,” but she doesn't make anything “forbidden fruit".
Giving and service is part of Reece and Hamilton’s life as well. Gabbyandlaird.com is the joint venture of this super-healthy, super-fit couple, and it shines as a labor of love. Reece states it was a place for the two of them to hopefully indirectly motivate and inspire people. On the site, the couple shares all their imperfections, and at the same time show viewers that they don't let imperfections hold them back. Gabbyandlaird.com has daily updates, recipes, exercise tips and fitness demonstrations.
While Reece embraces being a modern, strong woman, there are also some wonderful old-fashioned dynamics in her family that actually make it flow. She enjoys being a home maker and serving her family. Reece is straightforward and unapologetic in saying, "When you serve your family and your husband, you are not being robbed of your power; it's your choice. And for women, it's good to nurture that side of ourselves even though it’s more work. It's good for us as women; it's a dance."
My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper:A Guide to the Less than Perfect Life, a must read for every female in a relationship or ever planning on entering a relations, is available at Amazon.com and autographed copies are available at Gabbyandlaird.com
