My oldest sister, Diana, was born in April She would have been 56 this year. A small spot on the back of her tongue turned out to be oral cancer and six years ago, tragically took her life. It feels like yesterday. This month is National Oral Cancer Awareness month. Three months after she died my husband was told he had bile duct cancer and would need chemo, radiation and a new liver. That feels like a lifetime ago. It is also National Organ Donation month. This month represents death and life to me, even the earth feels it, as the Crocus pop their heads out of the ground, April 21st is Earth day!
Diana was beautiful (see picture from my wedding). Fourteen years older than me, she was the epitome of the “cool older sister.” She had huge dimples, and long, dirty-blonde hair that hung past her waist. She had a beautiful smile that, literally lit up a room. She was tough too! Anyone who reads this that remembers Diana Lynn McGrath Moon, knew that if you messed with her, or someone she loved, there was no escape from her wrath. Fourteen years is a BIG difference when you are 7 and she is 21, when you are 16 and she is having babies, when she is living in Texas and you are living in N.Y. There were weeks, even months when we did not speak, living our own very different, age appropriate lives. It is only now when I am 42 and she would have been 56 those years become moot. She is gone and I have more in common with her now than I ever did. I have questions for her about raising pre-teens, owning my own business, even gardening and I can’t simply pick up the phone and ask her. I find myself angry at the wasted months we didn’t talk and wanting that time back! I miss so many things about my sister. I honestly chuckle when I think about the quick wittedness of her tongue, (I mean a beat down from “D” was an awesome thing to watch) and her infectious southern twang (which she always denied having 🙂 ). What I miss most about my beautiful sister though is her smile! Ironic the origin of her beauty would be the exact location of the first cellular change that eventually stole her from us. Her death was ugly, starting with a sore on the base of her tongue. Before leaving this world she faced horrors. Multiple surgeries, months were she was fully aware yet she could not eat, could not speak and aware as she often struggled to breath. This month is National Oral Cancer Awareness month and the Oral Cancer Foundation in collaboration with The Bruce Paltrow Foundation are publicizing free screenings (see page10). Get screened.
When Diana, couldn’t speak, and couldn’t eat, she had the earth where she planted her seeds and she loved her garden. It had Lemon Bushes, and Chicken and Hen covering and Roses, tons of Roses. In the end I think it provided her with a respite. When I think of April, I think of Diana, I think of her beauty and I think of her garden. Every year since her death, I have started a garden, and within a month, my ineptness takes hold along with the weeds reminding me that if I had my sister to call perhaps my garden would have been successful. Yet every year I plant, not with the hopes of a harvest but the hopes that I hear her voice just one more time. Even if it is only in my head and even if it is only to hear her say, "Really Kelly, you call that a garden?”
Organ donation is the most selfless recycling program there is. Diana was not a candidate to give or receive. On average, 18 people die each day waiting for a new organ. Kevin, faced the scarcity of organs and his brother became a living donor (not enough pages in this letter to begin that story!) Have one conversation, one time and let someone know you want to donate your organs! Don’t take your organs to Heaven, Heaven knows we need them here!
